Life with Cptsd

Come along side as I share my life living with complex-ptsd. Since 14 years old I’ve dealt with sexual abuse, rapes and assaults, forced into prostitution at age 14, drug use , abusive relationships and much more trauma . It’s been 15 years since the time

Turning your negative to positive

A lot has gone on so far this year , not just the dreaded pandemic we are in but a lot of things have been affecting my life lately . It seems that so much negativity has crossed my path . I don’t want to complain or have anyone feel sorry for me . I just want to change that negative into a positive somehow! I just don’t know how yet . But through prayer I know the answer will come . The Bible says “Be strong and courageous , do not be afraid , do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you whenever you go” . Some days I feel far from strong and anything but courageous. I feel afraid and discouraged. But I know that those feelings are normal . I deal with a lot of anxiety on a day to day basis so when I read this verse I sometimes get annoyed . Doesn’t God know how I’m feeling ? How can He tell me to be strong and courageous when I can’t ? So I pray . Pray for the ability to be strong , the heart to be courageous , the strength to not be afraid and the determination to not be discouraged . I know some days I will be stronger than others and that’s ok . But today I choose and with only the help of God can I be all those things . If you are dealing with an endless supply of difficult times lately . Does it feel like you can’t deal with everything that goes on with life , when one bad thing after another happens ? I have sure been feeling this way and I am so thankful that I have a God who loves me enough stand with me during those times . Wiping my tears and holding my hand . There with be pain on this earth now but He promises everlasting glory where there will be no tears , no anxiousness and no discouragement . Until that days comes in the midst of pain or suffering , happiness and contentment I stay firm in my faith . What will you do to turn negativity to positivity in your life?

A broken system

I’m going to share a bit about my journey in the mental health system and why I think it needs a major overhaul . Approximately 5 years ago I was diagnosed with complex ptsd . My symptoms didn’t start to show till years after the fact which is normal. I started getting extreme anxiety , flashbacks and suicidal thoughts . I was brought to the hospital where I stayed in the psychiatric ward for a week and then was referred to the mental health office in my community . I saw a psychiatrist there for a few years . He tried many different medications but non seemed to help . I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital twice during that time . Over 2 years ago I started seeing a Christian therapist who is amazing and I still see twice a week . We are working through my traumas . But it gets hard before it gets better . It’s been hard for years because I have so much trauma to work through . Eventually my time was up at the mental health office and he sent my prescriptions to my family doc . He exact words to me before walking out of his office were “ sorry I couldn’t help you”. I felt alone and defeated by my diagnosis. The family doc who was a new doc for me ( I had the same one since I was 4 till 3 years ago when he retired) had no knowledge in cptsd or trauma . After a year he wanted to stop my meds . So In anger last year Dec 31 I stopped all my meds . I went into a very dark place . Couldn’t leave the house , I was anxious and paranoid, couldnt sleep . Terrible back pain . Couldn’t work . I couldn’t think straight . I needed help . So I contacted my family doc and told him what I had done , I explained that I was having suicidal thoughts and I needed help ASAP . For 5 months I called him weekly and begged for help and he kept saying he forgot to send the referral back to mental health and that he would . He never did . So finally my therapist wrote a letter to a walk in , begging for me to be seen ASAP . The walk in doc referred me back to mental health and put me back on the meds I was on. After a month and a half I got a call from mental health saying they couldn’t help me and that they would send a referral to a community psychiatrist. After a month I got a telephone call from this new psychiatrist and he was aweful . Talked down to me , didn’t let me finish talking . He took me off my meds and started 4 new ones . I had to call him this week because I hadn’t slept in 3 days and he told me he was not putting me on my old meds ( which I said like 4 times that I’m not asking to be) and he said to go to the hospital . I was confused and shocked . Why couldn’t he just help me ? I just want to sleep . So finally he upped my nighttime med and said see you in 2 months . The psychiatric system is broken . When I begged for months to be seen because I was scared for my safety I was ignored . If it wasn’t for my family and friends prayers I would not have gotten out alive . In March I had a stroke due to withdrawals from the meds and spent a week in the hospital . Still no help . I begged and begged and made many phone calls and all I was told was go to the hospital . I wasn’t willing to go there , get my clothes taken away and put in blue clothes and thrown in the psych ward . I needed help from a psychiatrist. Now I have one who doesn’t listen to me . Doesn’t know my story or even what symptoms I’m experiencing because he won’t listen . We need easy access to psychiatrists, ones who care about they’re patients . We need access to therapists and not have to pay an arm and a leg . No wonder there are so many addicts and people living on the streets. There is no professional help!! And what help there is you have to jump through hoops to get it and it’s still not adequate enough . I’m frustrated by the system and I have been mistreated by the system .if not for God, my family and close friends I would not be able to do this . Life has been hard and I want to heal . With proper care I know that is possible . Not only for me but for the thousands of others suffering as well.

Mental health and children

Mental health issues in adults is so normal and we tend to forget about the children. There are so many issues that children have that go unnoticed or seem as tho they are acting out or just a "bad" kid . But in reality they are probably dealing with mental health issues. Some of which can be adhd, anxiety, autism , mood disregulation disorders to name a few . Some signs include persistent sadness, difficultly sleeping , change in eating habits,frequent headaches and stomach issues, hurting them self, talking about death or suicide , outbursts , out of control behaviour, irritability, It can be difficult to understand mental health disorders in children because normal childhood development is a process that involves change. Additionally, the symptoms of a disorder may differ depending on a child's age, and children may not be able to explain how they feel or why they are behaving a certain way.  
most common disorders in children are ADHD, anxiety disorders, autism , eating disorders , depression and other mood disorders and PTSD .         If you're concerned about your child's mental health, consult your child's doctor. Describe the behaviors that concern you. Talk to your child's teacher, close friends, relatives or other caregivers to see if they've noticed changes in your child's behavior. Share this information with your child's doctor. To diagnose your doctor may send them to a specialist like a psychiatrist or psychologist for testing .                                                      To cope with a child with a mental illness can be hard but learning about which one they have can help a lot with how you deal with it and what the proper treatment may be eg. Medication or therapy . Work with your child's school to secure necessary support, Enroll in parent training programs, particularly those designed for parents of children with a mental illness, Consider family counseling that treats all members as partners in the treatment plan. Most importantly Praise your child's strengths and abilities. 


4:30 am

Didn't sleep much last night and gave up at 4:30 . So here I sit, coffee in hand on my deck. It's pitch dark out and so quiet . No like my brain , which is loud and filled with emotions . Today my kids go back to school . So many mixed emotions . Nervous , scared , am I making the right choice ? Excited and looking forward to some routine as well . All of our mental health has declined during Covid and we need some normalsy in our lives . So here we go! I'm going to wear that smile this morning , make a good breakfast and wave good bye at the school bus as my youngest leaves . Then I will shed some tears and go about my day . 


Without further adu here is my favourite subject , or least favourite I should say . The one that is a big part of my life . 
There are 3 types of anxiety .                           Normal anxiety- everyone experiences some form of anxiety at some point in their life . Anxiety before a job interview, they're wedding , start of school. That's normal to feel anxious about. They may feel doubts , worry about what's going to happen and want to avoid the situation that they are anxious about . Normal! 
Then there's anxiety disorders- people who suffer from anxiety daily . They have panic attacks, they avoid situations like going out and often follows with depression. They can experience breathlessness, heart palpitations and chest pain . A lot of people think they are having a heart attack because of the chest pain and it ends up being anxiety . Sometimes anxiety is accompanied by nausea and stomach issues . For the most part anxiety disorders can be treated with medication and/or other natural remedies. Also therapy helps.                                                               Anxiety due to trauma - people who have endured traumatic experiences not only have mental health issues but trauma is felt in the body as well . Some people develop diseases (eg fibromyalgia, ibs , chronic pain) , muscle tension , stomache issues , extreme fatigue, dizziness, sleeplessness and of course crippling anxiety . The constant feeling of reliving the traumatic experiences. The brain can't determin past from present so it is always on alert . With therapy the brain can be retrained to know that the traumatic experiences are from the past and that now you are safe .for myself it's been years of therapy, working on 15 years of daily trauma . My therapist says we are slowly chipping away at the trauma . 
Anxiety in any form sucks .                    For me I find some relief with meditation, prayer, essential oils , deep breathing and medication . 
If you have anxiety and feel it's taking over your life seek help . There are many options out there !



Suicide Awareness

This is a tough topic to touch on but it needs to be done . I lost a close loved one to suicide a few years ago so the topic is near to my heart . 
Have you ever felt hopeless? I have . Have you ever felt that life would be better without you? I have .                      Have you ever felt the pain was too much to bare? I have . 
I have sought help and am dealing with those thoughts as they sometimes still come up . 
Did you know in Canada in 2017 there were 4157 suicide deaths ? Making it the 9th leading cause of death between Alzheimer's and liver disease. 
looking at age groups the highest suicide rate were ages 40-59, however suicide ranks 2nd as a leading cause for people ages 15-34 . That's mind boggling!!                              The highest risks of suicide are men and boys . There's this stigma with men that they can't share there feelings and they feel shame and thus preventing them from reaching out for help. Also people that are incarcerated , survivors of suicide loss and youth are all high risks of suicide . So how do we stop this? Here are some signs to watch out for in our loves ones , always pay attention! Are they not calling or texting you as much ? Are they giving away items they value? Are they drinking or drugging more? Are they more tired and distant ? Sleeping during the day? Do they talk about how life sucks? Are they irritated and angry all the time? These are warning signs that the person may need some help . 
how to confront them? Choose a comfortable setting eg while driving or working on a project together . Mention that you have noticed some changes . Do NOT blame or shame ! Ask questions and backup they're feelings. Listen! Encourage them to reach out . If they have a plan and you don't feel they are safe call 911 and do not leave them alone . 
There is help no matter what you are feeling . Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. Find a trusted friend or counsellor and tell them what you are feeling . 
crisis Canada 1-833-456-4566



I'm still here

The last few weeks have been hard . Harder than usual anyways . On top of struggling mentally , my dog almost died ( she's ok now) , I lost a dear friend to cancer as well . I finally found a new psychiatrist but I'm not sure about him . He put me on a bunch of new meds and took me off of some I was on . So that makes me nervous to say the least . We put our  trust in these doctors in hopes they can help so we will see what happens . I don't like the idea of medications but if they help then that's what they are for! Don't be ashamed if you need medication and don't be ashamed to ask for help! . So I battle on! I continue my trauma therapy and try to repair the damage done . I'm thankful for a loving  God who looks after me and comforts me in troubled times, family and friends who come over and help me when I can't function and my amazing supportive husband. I don't have much else to say but I thought I'd better make a blog soon! 
lots of love ❤️ 

6 signs of mental illness and what to do!

I know I have said this a lot and I'll say it again! There is no shame in mental illness!! Honestly I don't even like the word mental illness because it sounds like your crazy and it has such a negative stigma around it . But till I think of a better work , mental illness it is! Wooo!! 
im going to share 6 signs to look out for in others and yourself and what you can do to get help . 

#1. feeling sad or down ~ things that interested you before start to not interest you . Having no motivation to do daily tasks like work or even showering . You start to feel sadness and have no idea why and you may start to isolate . People might start noticing this or you may be able to hide it well . But it's there !

#2.confused thinking and/or reduced ability to concentrate ~ it may feel like your thoughts are foggy . Hard to concentrate on one thing and the brain just goes into overload and you get overwhelmed. Even the smallest thoughts seem to be hard making you confused . It may become hard to concentrate. Reading a book, watching tv , work, your mind will not be a to just relax and concentrate on the task . You may feel confused a lot .

#3 Mood changes ~ you can go from extreme sadness to extreme happiness . You may feel sad all day for no reason and loose motivation to do anything .

#4 Excessive fears or worries ~ you may start to develop new fears and worries . Things that were once normal are now causing anxiety . Driving for example , you may be worried to drive because you might get into an accident . You may become over protective of loved ones and worry about them .

#5 Withdrawal from friends and family~ you may start to skip get togethers , not wanting to socialize. You may start ignoring phone calls and texts and find yourself making excuses to to socialize with people. The thought of being around people can become overwhelming.

#6 Significant tiredness , low energy and problems sleeping ~ you may find yourself not wanting to get out of bed and napping a lot and still feeling tired . You might not have the usual energy that you once had and find your self feeling lazy . Sleep may become hard . Your mind may race all night or you wake up a lot at night . You can be very tired but not able to actually relax to sleep . 

If you have any or all of these symptoms it's time to see your family doctor or a mental health professional. Most mental illnesses don't improve on their own, and if untreated, a mental illness may get worse over time and cause serious problems. And remember there is no shame in getting help!!

Here are some numbers to call  ..

310-mentalhealth . They will help with support , information and resources in your area .

1.833.456.4566 suicide hotline 






Breaking the stigma

When most people think of someone having mental health issues they think of that person as being weak . When in reality it's the opposite. Imagine having to deal with anxiety, depression , suicidal thoughts , physical symptoms and whatever else on a daily basis . That takes courage which makes the person far from weak . It takes a strong person to live with a mental illness . 
stigma is when someone sees you in a different way because of you mental illness. Descrimination is when someone treats you in a negative was because of your mental illness. Social stigma and discrimination can make mental health problems worse and stop a person from getting the help they need . While rates of mental illness are comparable between men and women, men are less likely to recognize, talk about, and seek treatment for their illness. Yet, up to 10 per cent of men experience paternal postpartum depression, and 80 per cent of people who die by suicide are men. What a scary fact. 
Women are nearly twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with depression. Women who have experience childhood trauma such as sexual abuse and physical violence are 4 times more likely to encounter depression as adults.  Women tend to experience more  mental health disorders. So why such shame in getting help ? a good place to start would be to talk to someone you trust . A good friend, your pastor or a counsellor . Get help! This is no shame , for both men and woman , to get help 
Visit or call 1-800-555-8222 (toll-free in BC) or 604-688-3234 (in Greater Vancouver) for information and community resources on mental health or any mental illness. Let's break the stigma today!



Be still

i wrote this poem to go along with my new tattoo. 

When the nights are long and your hearts in pain, when your days are numbing and you don't feel sane... Be still .When the constant reminders slap you in the face, when thoughts swarm your mind that you can't erase... Be still. When your mind and body both seem to impair, when the words you speak reek of dispare... Be still.                                    God is with you, covering you with love, and His perfect glory from above... Be still

Baby steps

Some days in my recovery I feel I'm not getting anywhere . I'm still anxious, scared, tired and can't think straight . The last 2 nights I didn't sleep . Makes for some very tiresome days . Thankfully I was able to nap this afternoon. Some days are great and I'm happy and feel "normal" . I just have to keep telling myself that trauma recovery in a lifetime commitment. It's been 14 years since those days ended but if I look back I now see how far I'm come . Baby steps! I know I will never be 100% fixed but with work and dedication to a better life I can live without the torment that hangs over me . I work hard at recovery. I have weekly therapy , I meditate and pray , I open up to my closest friends when I'm having a bad day , I practice self care . I try to nourish my body with healthy supplements, I take my meds properly , I see a psychiatrist and most importantly I keep connected with God because all things are possible with God . I look at myself as a shattered plate . Slowly glueing  together the peices . It will never look the same but it will get out together . How ever long it takes I will do it . 

Typical Cptsd Symptoms

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (complex PTSD, sometimes abbreviated to c-PTSD or CPTSD) is a condition where you experience some symptoms of PTSD along with some additional symptoms. Some of these symptoms include as follows ( these are the ones I have on a regular basis )

1.Feelings of shame and guilt.  Both of those are big one's for me. I know God has forgiven me but I'm still working on forgiving myself. I did and still have some shame but I'm learning that the things that happened to me weren't my fault and the choices I made were solely based on survival .

2.Difficulty controlling your emotions. This can be any emotion. Anger, sadness. Feeling overwhelmed. All these emotions can be heightened due to our traumatized brains 

3.Dissociation. This is where you lose periods of attention and concentration. You can do this when stressful situations arise, not realizing it as just disappear into your head so to speak. It could be minutes or hours. It's a coping mechanism for someone with trauma issues.

4.Physical symptoms. Headaches, neck and shoulder pain, sore back, chest pain, dizziness and nausea, upset stomach. Trauma is held in our bodies. Some develop diseases due to the stress. 

5.Cutting yourself off from family and friends. It's can be too difficult to deal with people. Large crowds and even one on one visits. It can be easier to just avoid these circumstances. 

There are many more but these are the top 5 I thought I'd share a these are my most active symptoms. Through therapy I am working on finding the right ways to cope with and deal with these symptoms properly. 

Self Care

As a trauma survivor with cptsd and for anyone with a mental illness or anyone at all really! Self care is very important . Today I will share 10 methods of self care that work for me .1. Meditation. Meditation looks different for everyone but I like to meditate doing deep breathing. I envision all the bad thoughts and energy coming in as I breath in through my nose . Then release all bad energy as I breath out . I also meditate on bible passages that I find comforting as well as Christian songs . 2. A hot bath . I’ll add Epsom salts and essential oils and play relaxing music . I love to listen to a sound bath meditation on my phone . If you haven’t heard of a sound bath look it up! So relaxing 3. Netflix and diffuse 😀 I love to watch my fav show at the time and blast the diffuser . My person favourites are lavender, cedarwood, northernlights . I also make my own mists and mist myself and take deep breaths ( like I just did now lol) 4. Do something nice for yourself. Sometimes I’ll do a face mask or hair deep conditioning , do my nails . Buy myself something nice ( like more essential oils lol) make a healthy meal or snack . Really anything that makes you happy 😃 5. Spend time with someone you love . Watch a movie with your spouse , play a game with your kid , have a good friend come over and have some laughs (laughing is good for the soul) 6. Physical activity . Get that blood pumping! I’ll go for a walk and enjoy Gods nature . I also do yoga . Its trauma yoga and it really helps and easy on an already tense body. 7. Clean your room . Doesn’t sound like fun but rearranging and restyling your room to make a more relaxing place to sleep can really help . My favourites are lots of pillows on the bed, my diffuser close by and some cute decorations that make me happy . 8. Journal. Well in my case it’s been blogging but writing down your feelings is very therapeutic. 9. Take care of your body . Drink lots of water , eat healthy ( not that I’m a health nut because I do love me some cake ) and take your supplements. I take a good probiotic and multivitamin . 10. Put your phone down. That’s the hardest one for me but I always enjoy the break . I don’t usually miss much anyways!

A quick blog

I usually open my eyes in the morning and worry what kind of day is waiting for me . Will I be anxious , sad, depressed or will I be happy and feel blessed to be alive ? Today I feel blessed . As I sit here and drink my coffee I have a multitude of messages from other trauma survivors that have read my blog and are effected by my courage to share my story . So it’s working! This was my goal . Not to make money blogging but to reach out , tell my story and hope to help others see there is life after trauma . I feel Jesus working in me and nudging me to keep sharing . So share I will! Not every blog will be about my horrific traumas as it’s very hard to write but I will be sharing what works for me 

God bless 

A Positive blog

I’m laying on my bed because it’s cooking hot where I live and this is the only cool spot . I thought it would be a perfect time to blog ! I’ve shared a few of my trauma experiences and there are more but I thought I’d share about some positive . Blogging about my life has been hard and a lot of emotions have come up! And my nightmares are back ! Sooo here’s some positiveness . Since all my trauma that ended 15 years ago I’ve made many chances in my life . I married an amazing man 11 years ago . He’s my rock and couldn’t do life without him . He’s patient when I’m having a bad day but pushes me to get out of it . It does piss me off but I’m always greatful after . We have a son together who is almost 10 . He also has issues with mental health but he’s an amazing loving generous boy . He is currently diagnosed with adhd and disruptive mood disorder . A few weeks ago his paediatrician told us she has suspicions he may be autistic and to get tested for that . But all in all he’s the joy to my heart and we share a special bond . My oldest son lives with us as well as my 16 year old daughter part time . I am so blessed . I also have a daughter who does not live with me . Our relationship needs healing but I love her so much . I got to church and have an amazing group of friends and love my church family . I have a best friend who I can’t imagine living without . We’ve been besties for 10 years . We’ve had our ups and downs in the past but always end up working things out . I love her so much ! I work as a part time house cleaner . My clients are amazing and most have become my friends . One in particular has been like a mom to me and I feel God has placed her in my life at just the right time . I love where I live , I have a cute little house and I enjoy making it look nice with my thrifty ways . Repainting furniture are my favourite kind of projects . I enjoy gardening but hate mowing the lawn . I work with an amazing Christian therapist and I trust her 100 % . We’ve made a lot of progress over the last 2 years . So here’s some positive for your Monday ! God bless

The Chimes

I’ve thought about this long and hard . Do I want to share about this? Maybe I’ll write about it and never post.what emotions will come up ? Shame? Disgust? . But I’m in this for the long haul and sharing my experiences and helping others brings me healing . I was the victim of sex trafficking at 14 . Wow even typing that was hard ! After being sexually abused by a family acquaintance I started to act out and run away from home . I eventually ended up hanging out with some low level drug dealers . I would hold the drugs while they would sell to people on the street . The purpose of course was that I would get the blame if ever caught . They made me feel like I was important with my “job”. That they needed me , that I was one of them . A couple months later I was introduced to a guy . He paid a lot of attention to me and told me how special and beautiful I was . Next thing I remember was being brought to this house with about 5 other girls and some men . They fed us drugs and at night would take us out to other houses and forced us to do the unthinkable. We drove around in nice cars, ate at nice restaurants , went shopping for nice clothes but always with someone watching over us . Usually a couple of the guys . Some days I would just be at the house and they would take the other girls out. One of the girls had a baby and I would watch him . We couldn’t leave the house as it was alarmed and I didn’t even know where I was . Still to this day I hear that alarm go off when a door or window was open . It chimed . Like a friendly chime but in hell. Eventually I became like a zombie just following protocol. During this time I was never physically harmed by my captors but threats were made if I didn’t comply . They would harm me and my family . I remember in the beginning I had to give them my family home address. I had 5 brothers and sisters at home and my parents . They never gave up looking for me . Police and private investigators were involved. One evening I was out on the streets with about 8 other people and suddenly my step dad came running up (they had found me!) he tried to grab me and pull me into the car . He was beaten badley while my mom watched and screamed . Honestly I can’t remember what I did or said while this happened. A lot of my past is a blur due to being heavily drugged . But I am haunted by that memory among many others to this day .So I complied . After a while I was given the job of “telling” the new girls they brought back what they had to do . Reassuring them as they cried and were scared . It was heartbreaking for me but at the time I just did what I had to do to survive . A part of me was screaming run away! But new that wasn’t possible . I look for any possible way to get away in the beginning but gave up . I did eventually get away . But I cannot go into details of that because it would hurt someone I love very much . Hard to explain but please understand . To this day the chimes of the alarm are forever etched into my memory . 

The raw truth

Last night was another sleepless night . Tossing and turning . My anxiety was so high I felt terrified . I would get up and walk around . I could feel my heart beating in my chest , my head was pounding , my stomach hurt but I could barely keep my eyes open . I was so mentally exhausted but my body had other plans for me . Every little move I would make , like getting a glass of water I would be so careful because any noise could send me into a full panick . By 4:00 am I started quietly cleaning my fridge . I needed to do something to keep my mind off of the dark thoughts I was having . It's like I can feel a dark shadow covering my body .even if the lights are on my vision goes dark . Sometimes when that happens I curl up into a ball and pray .I imagine God wrapping his arms around me and holding me like a small child .my mind spinning with thoughts from the past . My brain is like a blender of evil . I feel the pain I felt when I was raped many times like it was happening right then . Since there were so many traumatic events it's get unbearable and the thoughts get scrambled. Then eventually morning comes and some peace comes over me . I have to get dressed , take care of kids , be a wife, run a house and go to work . It's now 7:30 pm . I'm hoping that tonight I can sleep . You can have an amazing day and then as soon as night hits the darkness comes . It reminds me of a line from a song~when there's pain in the night,joy comes in the morning~


The brain and Cptsd

Child abuse. Rape. Sexual assault. Brutal physical attack. witnessing violence , drug use Near death experiences. These are extremely traumatic events, and some victims bear the scars for life. The physical scars heal, but some emotional wounds stop the lives of these people dead in their tracks. They are afraid to get close to people or form new relationships. Change terrifies them, and they remain forever hesitant to express their needs. It may not be always obvious but complex post-traumatic stress disorder sucks the life force out of its victims. It is no use telling them to “get over” it because CPTSD changes the brain’s structure and alters its functions. What goes on inside the brain of those with cptsd? CPTSD is painful and frightening. The memories of the traumatic experiences stay and victims often have flashbacks .Frightened and traumatized, they are almost always on edge, and the smallest trigger sends them hurtling back inside their protective shells. Usually, victims try to avoid people, objects, and situations that remind them of their hurtful experiences—this behavior is debilitating and prevents them from living their lives meaningfully. Extensive neuroimaging studies on the brains of CPTSD patients show that several regions differ structurally and functionally from those of healthy individuals. The amygdala, the hippocampus, and the ventromedial prefrontal cortex play a role in triggering the typical symptoms of CPTSD.this effects the stress response mechanism in humans, so that theCPTSD victim, even long after their experiences continue to respond to stress differently than someone who is not suffering the aftermath of trauma . The effects of trauma on the brain? The most significant neurological impact of trauma is seen in the hippocampus. CPTSD patients show a considerable reduction in the volume of the hippocampus.This region of the brain is responsible for memory functions .It also helps to distinguish past and present memories. Those with CPTSD loose the ability to tell the past and present memories. For example if someone was attacked in a parking lot , they would not be able to go in parking lots because that part of the brain would tell you it’s unsafe there and you will relive it .the ventralmedial prefrontal cortex is responsible for emotional responses triggered by the amygdala. Specifically, this region regulates negative emotions such as fear. CPTSD patients show a decrease in the volume of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex and the functional ability of this area z This explains why people suffering from CPTSD tend to have fear, anxiety, and extreme stress responses even when faced with nothing related to their experiences from the past. Trauma appears to increase activity in the amygdala .This part of the brain helps us process emotions and is also linked to fear responses. CPTSD patients show hyperactivity in the amygdala in response to things that are somehow connected to their traumatic experiences. They will show anxiety, panic, and extreme stress when they are shown photographs or having to deal with trauma victims whose experiences match theirs, or if they listen to sounds or words related to their traumatic events Researchers believe that the brain changes caused by CPTSD increases the likelihood of a person developing other psychotic and mood disorders. Understanding how CPTSD alters the brain chemistry is critical to empathize with the condition of the victims and find the right treatment methods that will enable them to live fully and fulfill their true potential. The human brain can be re-wired. drugs and behavioral therapies have been shown to increase the volume of the hippocampus in CPTSD patients. The brain is a finely-tuned instrument. It is fragile, but it is encouraging to know that the brain also has the amazing capacity to regenerate itself

Just check in !

I’ve been thinking about what to write about next . I don’t want write too much and scare my readers and I don’t not want to keep sharing . Today has been a difficult day . It’s marks the anniversary of losing a family member tragically 3 years ago . I thought I’d write a bit about loving someone with cptsd and being loved by one . Well by me anyways ! I think when people hear ptsd they right away think that it’s something only war veterans get so it’s probably hard for someone to understand that someone like myself , a mom, a wife , a business runner , a friend , can suffer from that . Buts it’s the real deal . I was officially diagnosed about 5 years ago . I am still learning to live with it and heal at the same time . As someone with complex ptsd every day differs . Could be a great day , could be a day I want to stay in bed and cry . Sometimes people text me and ask how I am and I say great . Usually I’m lying but hey I just want to save that person from the negativity that will spew out of me . Sometimes I’ll just let loose and say what’s really going on . I have a small handful of people that get the real raw me most of the time . I thank God for those few . The days I feel I can love myself I will try and show those people love as well , even if it’s a small text . If you don’t hear from me , check in! I’m not ignoring you . If Im short with you , it’s because I trying my hardest to function that day . If you have a loved one with any sort of mental health issue . Check in! Tell them you love them , tell them your thinking of them , make small talk , because that could be the light in their day . God bless